Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Girl On The Train - Part 1

Hi y'all. I've clearly already failed in the 'post regularly to my blog' goal, mostly because I don't think I've had much of interest to say. So here's something that will hopefully make this wee blog a bit more interesting...

I've started doodling a short story called 'The Girl on the Train' (with apologies to Stieg Larsson). But I thought, what the heck, why don't we experiment and turn it in to a collaborative story. By which I mean, you decide what's about to happen next, and I write it. Sound good? Sound like it could be a disaster? We'll see. Will leave comments open for a week or so (or however long it takes to get comments), and take it from there. Let's go! 

Adam didn’t notice the blood on the girl’s hands at first.

He hadn’t noticed anything outside the pale glow of his phone screen, and the stark words of Caroline’s text message inside an absurd, cartoon speech bubble:

Fuck off Adam. Just fuck off and leave me alone.
He’d been sagging on his train seat, half asleep. He was debating whether he should close his work sore eyes, or browse at the discarded Evening Standard on the seat opposite. Then his phone buzzed. Within moments he was bolt upright, bloodshot eyes open, his stomach thrown in at the deep end.
 This was no ordinary boyfriend-girlfriend argument. They hadn’t even spoken today. Hadn’t even seen each other since the weekend, which was three days ago now. And Caroline hardly ever swore. In the whole of their two years together, he couldn’t recall her saying anything stronger than ‘crap’.
What the hell? Adam asked himself. What the hell?
Adam hadn’t seen her get on the train at Willesden Green. He hadn’t noticed her sit across from him, her bloodied hands knotted across her lap. It didn’t register that the girl was bare foot, wore a fleshy bruise under her eye, and had silent tears running down her cheeks. He looked up more in reaction to the train pulling out of the station, and had he seen anything other than the girl with bloodied hands he would probably have remained absorbed in his phone.

What happens next? Comment on this post with your suggestions.


  1. The girl, who has been stalking your protagonist (Adam) for a while, has become aware of the failing relationship between Adam and his girlfriend (in fact she may have had something to do with it). She knows that Adam is the kind person who would find it very difficult to say no to someone in distress. She has put herself on the train, looking like she does (make-up or real damage?), to reel him in.

  2. Interesting...thanks for sharing this one! :)

    Any more ideas? Will leave this open for a few more days...